sunshine and smiles

Dappled sunlight, cherry blossoms, good music, vibrant colors, god I wish I had a camera, "bring me men to match my mountains"¹, skyscraper glitter², beautiful people, that bookstore smell, warm air, architecture, smiling at strangers, cold water, and the most wonderful lunch-hour walk I've ever had.

cooking bonanza

Our kitchen was controlled chaos last night.

We discovered that the refrigerator was no longer cooling our food - odd, because the lights inside were working, so the electricity was obviously still functioning. I think it might have had something to do with the cooling unit at the back. *shrug*

Anyway, yesterday when we got home, we found the kitchen floor practically flooded with melted ice (and ice cream) so we quickly pulled everything out of the freezer to assess the situation. Luckily, the meat was still halfway frozen, so we set about cooking everything. And when I say everything, I mean 30 chicken thighs, 8 chicken breasts, 5 Italian sausages, 3 pounds of ground pork, 2 pork tenderloins, 2 dishes of meatballs, 1 slab of beef, and a whole chicken. Whew! It was quite an undertaking. It took us roughly 4 hours to get everything out of the freezer, cooked, and stored temporarily in ice-filled coolers till our new fridge arrives.

It was fun, though! Boyfriend and I used the opportunity to come up with new sauces, get creative with the food we already had, and help out the family in a meaningful way (and at a time when it was definitely needed!) We kept positive about it the whole time, and I'm proud of both of us for that.

I took a stressful situation and turned it around into a fun and upbeat experience! Go me! :D

i want to be...

I want to be:

Healthy Successful Dedicated Inspiring Uplifting Grateful

Free Authentic Fearless Creative Ambitious Compassionate

Loving Charming Enlightened Capable Passionate Balanced

I want to be the person that, deep down, I've always known I'm capable of becoming.

what a mess!

Lately I've been thinking a lot about cleanliness, and the different ways it affects us psychologically. I've often heard it said that a cluttered space is a cluttered mind, and vice versa. In the back of my mind, I always kind of knew it was true, but it was just one of those things that I never consciously took the time to examine -- mostly, I think, from shame at my own tendency to make huge messes.

All of this stems from my pack-rat mentality: "I might need it someday" and "This is too good to get rid of" have combined to create a cluttered home, and a storage unit full of who-knows-what. I am ashamed to let people see my chaotic space, and often complain about the mess to Boyfriend, but deep down I have to admit to myself that it's all mine.

The same is true for my mind -- I have a terrible memory, and it seems to only be getting worse. Figuratively, my mind is just as cluttered as my living space. There's old memories crowding out new ones, song lyrics overwriting the things I learned in school, and names? Not a chance.

In April I came across an article at Oprah.com called When and How to Say "Enough!" by Martha Beck. It outlines the "just-in-case" mentality, wherein someone lives with the assumption that "everything good is scarce" and attempts to gather around themselves much more than what they need. This mindset can result in overeating, overspending, and damaged relationships. By contrast, a person with the "just-in-time" mentality knows that "everything good is readily available" (and of course we're talking about those who live in places where basic necessities are plentiful). They don't overeat, clutter, overspend, and have healthier relationships.


Beck's article really got my wheels turning about the disarray that I choose to keep around me. I keep the strangest things because "I might need it someday." Do I really need that plush Invader Zim keychain that's been gathering dust for three years? Or the fairy statuette with the broken wing that I never got around to fixing? What about the old VHS tapes that I haven't watched in years?

Trent over at The Simple Dollar and Leo from Zen Habits, two of my favorite big-time blogs, both believe that clutter costs not only space, but time, money, and energy, all of which could be put to much better use. I wholeheartedly agree. It's a vicious circle; You have a lot of stuff, you spend more money on a bigger house to store it all. You get more stuff, you need an even bigger house. If you need to clean, then the more stuff you have, the longer it will take you, and the more daunting the task becomes. And even on the most basic level, your mind uses more energy to mentally sort through all of your belongings. Who needs that kind of life-draining environment?!

Not me! I've decided that I'm through with my pack-rat ways! It's going to take some time, but I'm going to sort through everything I own and only keep those things which I am one-hundred-percent sure that I'll need in the future. Already, my Mom and I went through a bunch of boxes in my bedroom and sorted them into "Keep", "Throw Away", "Donate", and "Sell" (because yeah I'd like to get some pocket money for the crap stuff I don't need!) Already my space looks clean(er), and I feel much more cheerful when I enter the room. And it's inspiring! I want to tackle all the rest of my stuff and feel even more uplifted!

What remains to be seen is what long-term effects I'll gain once my task is finished (and hopefully maintained!) Will my memory improve? Will I feel lighter in spirit? Will I finally be able to achieve that simple, austere elegance that I dream about after looking through my Crate & Barrel and Pottery Barn catalogs? *le-sigh* A girl can hope.

recap part two

So, my life has been a whirlwind of activity lately! Here's a brief glimpse at the things I've done since my last post:

- Organized a very successful Cinco de Mayo fundraiser
- Went to my very first Meetup and...
- ...Saw Star Trek with a bunch of geeks (yes, I cried)
- Went to an old friend's place for a really fun BBQ
- Walked 3 miles to benefit Breast Cancer with the Network of Strength
- Had a wonderful Mother's Day brunch with my extended family
- Organized my upcoming birthday party (June 20th people!)
- Cleaned out all the "I-don't-know-what-I'm-gonna-do-with-this-crap-stuff" boxes from my bedroom (thanks for the help, Mom!)

Thank goodness things will be slowing down from here on out. I do enjoy having things to do, but so much all at once does get rather tiring!

I know I don't have much of a following (yet!) but I apologize for these lame recap posts, and I promise they will be kept as much to a minimum as humanly possible. :)

playing catch-up

Whew! What a crazy-busy weekend-plus! (Well, in reality, Boyfriend and I have had something busy to do every weekend for darn near two months - that's a lot for us!) To avoid a lot of unnecessary details, I'll just recap with the most important thing from each day, and what I learned from it.

Thursday - Boyfriend and I were invited to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine on its opening night with some co-workers of mine. As big X-Men fans (and huge geeks) we were really excited about the movie, not to mention the fact that Boyfriend and Co-workers finally got to meet the person(s) I talk about so often!

Basically, the movie was pretty dang good, but not worth the hassle of seeing it at midnight opening night (in my opinion). Also, a movie theater is not a good place for introducing people, as it's difficult to hold conversations while sitting in a row. I suck at bringing people together sometimes.

Friday - I took the day off to go see a school counselor about a number of different things - classes, universities, majors, etc. I was pretty disappointed in the experience, as one of the first things I was told was that the counselor would not have enough time to go over everything I needed to talk about. If I wanted more info, I needed to come back another day. This was quite a letdown, and that partly had to do with my last experience with a school counselor - Barbara was inspiring. She fired me up and got me really, truly excited about going back to school. I had been hoping that Friday's experience would be positive, if not just as thrilling, however I guess my expectations were a bit too high. Now, I'm not saying that the gentleman I saw Friday wasn't doing all he could - I'm sure he was. He most likely had some restrictions placed on him that I didn't know about and couldn't avoid.

Counselors can be a huge help and a huge inspiration - but I should also be prepared to tackle things myself if and when the need arises.

Saturday - Boyfriend and I spent the whole weekend at my best friend's house! We enjoyed a number of activities - walked two malls, ate at a traditional sushi restaurant, went to see Dov Davidoff (who reminds me of a younger, skinnier Vin Diesel) do some stand-up comedy.

Even though my best friend and I have known each other since 2nd grade (18 years, WOW!), and whenever we get together, it's like no time has passed... it's not like that for the people we bring together. Things can get awkward or uncomfortable because there's no long history there. And I need to find a way to work around those moments.

Sunday - For some strange reason, after we got home on Sunday, I started feeling incredibly stressed out and overwhelmed. It was probably just a combination of my mind turning to work-related matters, being nervous about school, putting honest effort into my relationship, my lacking self-esteem, and the stress of living with my parents again. All of a sudden, I started crying. It was one of those weird cries where there's not one thing specifically that's upsetting you, and so it doesn't really make a whole lot of sense, but you just can't stop. (Ladies, you know what I'm talking about!) You just have to let it run its course.

Luckily, Boyfriend was incredibly comforting to me. At first, I thought I'd have to really explain that it was nothing big, and that I didn't need anything but to just be held... but I didn't have to. It only took a few very simple words, and there it was - just what I needed. It felt wonderful.

Monday - A few things today, really. First off, my laptop has arrived! It's waiting for me at home, and I totally can't wait to get off work so I can go play with it. I'll post pictures as soon as I can.
I also received an $800 check from my mutual fund account, which is going directly into my College savings account - I'm up to about $4,500! I really hope I can get past $6k by the time I quit my job.
I got a direct link in a "thank you" post at Positively Present! My heart literally skipped a beat to see the title of my little blog on a website that I personally find so inspiring! Woo-hoo! Thanks, PP - you're wonderful. <3

I've got a lot of things coming up in my life - organizing a Cinco de Mayo fundraiser at work, seeing Star Trek and going to a friend's BBQ on Saturday, a breast cancer walk and family brunch on Mother's Day, my 25th birthday in June, planning for school, and of course all the little daily things! Whew! What a suddenly busy schedule!

But... (can you keep a secret?) ... I love it. Don't tell Boyfriend, though - he already thinks I've lost my mind! :)